From Heartbreak To Healing

WHEN TENAFLY residents Pamela and Paul Caine lost their newborn son, Griffin Matthew, nearly 30 years ago, they were left with unimaginable pain. At the time, there were no resources to guide them through their grief, yet they were determined to keep Griffin’s spirit alive. Out of that loss came the Griffin Cares Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting parents and loved ones who experience pregnancy and infant loss. Where once there was nowhere to turn, there is now a network of compassion and hope, reaching grieving families in more than 30 states across the country.

A MISSION IS BORN

Although the Griffin Cares Foundation was officially incorporated in 2022, its mission began long before.

“After Griffin died, Paul and I really didn’t know where to turn for support. We didn’t know anyone who had experienced a tragedy like ours,” Pamela Caine says.

Pamela began volunteering locally, fundraising and serving as a peer mentor for other parents. While she has a bachelor’s degree in english and a master’s of science in occupational therapy, she deepened her expertise through extensive training in perinatal bereavement, perinatal mental health, and grief counseling. Over time, Pamela began facilitating peer groups, which would later evolve into what is now the Griffin Cares Foundation.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, when all sessions shifted online, the foundation’s reach expanded nationally. The ability to connect virtually offered comfort during a time of deep isolation, and what began as a handful of grieving parents has since grown into a thriving national network of support. Today, Griffin Cares is a volunteer-run organization with 50 dedicated volunteers who offer resources such as peer mentoring, virtual support groups, and special-topic sessions.

The peer mentor program, managed by Tenafly resident Anna Feldberg, gives families the chance to connect in meaningful ways.

“I can personally attest to just how helpful it is to be surrounded by a supportive community of people who get it,” says community member Joshua Miller. “You join that first group Zoom, and it just feels like the weight of the world got a little bit lighter and there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.”

LABOR OF LOVE

Though Pamela serves as cofounder and executive director and Paul as cofounder and board chair, their three adult children—Samantha, 31, Ryan, 28, and Gavin, 26—are also deeply involved. They serve on the board and are members of the Sibling Committee where they focus on supporting siblings who have experienced loss.

“Unfortunately, our team has stood in this dark place,” says Pamela, “and that’s why we are so dedicated to offering comfort to others. We have tears in our groups, but we also have laughter and smiles.”

While one might assume working with grieving families is overwhelmingly sad, Pamela sees it differently. “I witness the best of humanity every day,” she shares. “Running a foundation that helps people through unimaginable loss sounds heavy, but I don’t think of it as a sad job. When you create space for people to feel seen and heard, you open the door to healing and to so much good.”

On Oct. 11, the Griffin Cares Foundation will host its first in-person Remembrance Day Community Gathering and Support Stroll at Overpeck County Park in Leonia, New Jersey. Held during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, the event will bring together loved ones to honor the memory of lost infants and show solidarity with families navigating grief.

LOCAL LIFE

Pamela and Paul have called Tenafly home for 32 years, having moved here to raise their family. Drawn by the town’s proximity to Manhattan and strong school system, they quickly became part of the community. Pamela enjoys Tenafly staples such as Spring House, Simply Vietnamese, and Awe & Wonder, and has felt the warmth of neighbors throughout her journey. In fact, the foundation’s very first donation came from local business Cambridge Cleaners.

Even for those who never met Griffin, his spirit has become part of Tenafly itself. Griffin Park, located on the Roosevelt Common, was established in his memory. Soon after his passing, the Caines met with then-Mayor Ann Moscovitz, who enthusiastically embraced their idea of a park that would bring joy to families.

“It’s exactly what we wanted,” says Pamela. “We hoped it would be a place where families could spend time together and enjoy being a family.”

BY GABRIELLE WALTERS