Supporting Families One Birth at a Time

WHEN TENAFLY RESIDENT Stephanie Pasternak became an alumna of Brown University, she didn’t know what she wanted to do after graduation. She was in a job she didn’t love and was looking for a change in life, so she decided to return to school because she was an academic at heart. While she was at Bergen Community College, she coincidentally completed all her prerequisites to attend medical school and developed an interest in women’s health, with a specific focus on childbirth.

When she finally decided to apply for medical school, she was married and pregnant with her first child on the way, which put her plans on hold. Taking into account the financial responsibility of having a child, she continued working so that her child could attend school when they were older. Eventually, after having two more children, she waited for her third child to grow up before finding her true calling as a birth doula. A birth doula is not a doctor but offers guidance and support before, during and after childbirth. After completing various training programs, certifications and licenses from the oldest certified agency in the country, DONA International, Pasternak opened her practice.

A 24/7 CALLING

As much as Pasternak loves her job, there are drawbacks. Her work environment can be mentally, physically and emotionally demanding. For Pasternak, this is a full-time job, and she is on call 24/7, handling 4 to 6 births a month.

“Sometimes, I have to ditch my family,” she says. “And, if it’s Thanksgiving, it is what it is. I really try to support my clients in every way that I can. Some of my clients have no family here. There are clients that may want to breastfeed their baby, but no one in their family has ever breastfed a baby before. I work very hard to try and make things just a little bit easier, and to let them know that there is help and support, because it does take a village to make, grow and birth a baby.”

As a birth doula, lactation consultant and Lamaze childbirth educator, Pasternak helps her clients from pregnancy, labor and birth to postpartum care and baby feeding. Pasternak’s practice focuses on everything from being pregnant to teaching new mothers how to feed their babies. She feels honored to be in the sacred birthing space. “The most amazing thing in the world is supporting a woman and her partner through the end of their pregnancy, labor, birth, and their immediate and initial postpartum period. It’s absolutely incredible,” says Pasternak.

Pasternak experiences this honor every time a couple invites her to be part of their journey. She believes that those who are pregnant are filled with superpowers. “They are magic. They are special. They are strong. They are stronger than they ever knew they were,” she adds.

ADVANCES AND ADVOCACY

Modern medicine and technology have improved to provide women who were previously unable to have babies with the option to do so. Yet, with all the advancements in the medical field, medical providers don’t necessarily have time to develop an emotional connection with patients. Pasternak says this has opened the door for doulas in a major way because many patients want more attention and a closer connection with someone who can guide them through pregnancy, childbirth and beyond.

Pasternak provides medical information and emotional and physical support for clients, but there are limitations to what she can do. “I’m not a medical care provider,” she says. “Doulas do not diagnose anything, nor do they prescribe anything.” Advocating for and supporting couples is what she’s all about. “Doulas can remind their clients that they have a voice,” says Pasternak. “They also remind their clients that pregnancy is a natural state of being. It’s not an illness.”

BY RON LYONS JR.